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A Hallmark card, for you

Well, it’s business as usual with a case of the Mondays. The semester’s end has come and we’ve only a bit further to go.
Whether or not you’ve utilized your Thanksgiving time wisely flows as water under a bridge. Now, the proving grounds are here and despite our eventful fall let us finish strong. Over the next two weeks letter grades can be made and lost by your choices.
For the young ones, I hope that you’ve acclimatized well and, as you enter the gauntlet, don’t refrain for fear or worry to ask us veterans for advice on these two weeks. I have perfect confidence that you aren’t inept or suffering from a common sense deficiency. But, the last thing you need is getting zonked on an excess of energy supplements and chattering at a table in the library like a sewing machine. I’ve been there before so consider it my two cents. The stress endured over these two weeks can cripple steel, don’t lose focus.
For the veterans, you’ve done this final exam shuffle enough to know. You don’t need me to rehash the basics like you’re Billy Madison. Keep your head up and remember that set examples have lasting impressions.
For the faculty, staff and administration: would it be ‘hypothetically’ possible to give us all answer keys for the finals? No, you say--well, I tried. Anyway, it’s been another insightful journey with the course materials and discussions, thank you all for the invested interests and helpfulness provided for us in our education.
I also can’t leave out the blue collars here at our campus for the continuous hard-work they’ve put in this semester. Truly, it is a special talent to have to put up with us students sometimes. I know that we are not always as appreciative with our actions as we could be. But if it weren’t for that blue collar force, our campus (our ship) would not leave port. Going along with that we can’t forget to offer our appreciation to the city of Oxford in general. It is a wonderful and helpful community that provides a strong cultural backdrop for the university.
As you can tell, this is my last article for the semester, and I can’t leave on good conscious not thanking the OPD and UPD services. I know what you’re thinking, and yes I do have parking tickets and no I don’t want them ‘hypothetically’ fixed. Despite the friction that sometimes occurs between the student body and the police, the situational protection that the force provides is a great asset to our general wellbeing.
In closing for my semester here at the DM, I give a special thanks to the opinion editor Phil McCausland, as well as the other writers and staff for keeping the print going. As we all finalize for the semester, I wish everyone good luck and happy hunting.
Signed, Santa Claus

Daniel Purdy is an English senior from Oxford.